i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
