Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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