I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
