I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Mom said you looked used
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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