I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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