Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
