My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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