How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
