who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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