Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
