on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
