Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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