He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
