It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
