do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
