he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
