i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i out mim tonsoeep
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
