Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
