Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
