it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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