I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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