Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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