i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
