I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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