is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
