but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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