we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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