Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
