yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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