Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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