hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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