He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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