You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
