I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
