He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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