Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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