if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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