Ambien. No doubt about it.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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