he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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