Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
