margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
