you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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