Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
