Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
