Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
