Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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