He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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