I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
