i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
