Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
