Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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