Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
