All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We have so much sex to catch up on
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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