Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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